waagnfnp

I guess I have to again crank up the stupid emotional attachment to the band of young, rich, mercenary, spoiled boys** that comprise the Cleveland Indians  and become overinvested in the outcomes of their games against a similar gang from Boston.  So like, Go Tribe and all of that, I hope your performance -enhancing drugs work better than the other guys - just like Marion Jones’s did.  Sorry, long week, overtired man. If you want to relive some good in-game Yankee-bashing and Indians-anxiety, go read the comments at this post at Lawyers, Guns and Money.

**Please not to interpret as judgement relative to any of the other gangs of boys doing the same in other cities.

At Eastshore Aikikai, where I practice Aikido, we’re pushing the geriatric envelope pretty hard. I’m in my mid-fifties and I’m in no way the oldest person in the dojo; there are also several students who are only a few years younger than I am. Get off my lawn, you whippersnappers or I’ll throw you off.

My mother is in her 80s, though, and she still belongs to a bowling league. Granted, bowling is a lot lower impact than Aikido. It’s also the only one of two sports I know of where people regularly die during participation, the other being golf. Of course the reason for that is that both are sports that have participants of any age, including the very old.

Or the very young. Tiger Woods famously appeared on The Mike Douglas Show at the age of 2.
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Nothing fancy today. I just hope everyone has their flag lapel pin  in place and some time set aside for some good old escapism from the fucked up state of the world all-American baseball watching. (By the way, are they even on TV? I cannot find them  … oops, found them, TNT …  nevermind.)  Trust me,  I’m not trying to harsh anyone’s buzz (speaking of which did any video of spyder in action during this incident ever emerge?) , I’m just a bit weary of living in a country ruled by insane psycopathic liars this week -  usually I’m just fine with it.

So far I’ve not really been pulled into the playoff action - Cleveland gratifyingly taking care of business in Game 1 and a nice pitcher’s duel so far in Game 2 even though they are down 1-0.  But who knows what evil this way comes? To prepare I found a nice article via Lawyers, Guns and Money which chronicles the many “levels of losing” from Level XVI “The Princeton Principle” to Level II “The Goose/Maverick Tailspin“.  (He is from Boston and reserves Level I for “The Game” - I personally think the Cubs effort a few years back rises to that level as well.)

  … damn, Indians strand leadoff triple   …. must stay positive and detached, must stay positive and detached.

[Update: Found some other strange game on another channel - people skating around on ice running into each other. For real! Doubt that it will last though.]

Baseball Playoffs Draw Nigh - Time to Bring the Hate!
By Oaktown Girl

Well folks, the MLB regular season ends on Sunday, and the postseason begins** on Wednesday. If you’re like me and your team’s not going to be in the playoff mix, that means only one thing: hardcore cheering against the team you hate the most, and for the team you hate the least.

Properly Bringing the Hate against a sports team is a skilled art, best not left to amateurs. It takes guile, cunning, and an unshakable belief that Bringing the Hate in a sports fan setting is a karma-free activity. (Amateurs can, however, safely participate by seeking the expertise, council, and protection of an experienced trained professional like myself).

Everything must be in place: good luck (or bad luck) charms at the ready and in their proper location and position; knowledge of which teams are playing and when so bad vibes can be sent at the exact time; non-sports fans/ambivalent friends must be given their marching orders about who they’re cheering for/against in order to help spread the love; and your rap regarding your position must be well-prepared and watertight in the event you need to put the smackdown on some fool who dares question you.

A good, sturdy pair of boots is advisable - you can bet your bottom dollar that at some point you’ll be plagued by some ignorant bandwagon twit who was not born and raised in New York or New Jersey cheering for the Stankees. That’s an ass just begging to be kicked, and you should most certainly oblige. Boots provide both the toe protection and ankle support to get the job done right.

Yes, the WAAGNFNP will do everything possible to try to have at least one live blogging event for the playoffs. Stay tuned, and tell your friends.

And now for your enjoyment, this Simpsons video is hysterical - you’ll want to watch the the whole thing, sports fan or not:
Simpsons Baseball

Add to My Profile | More Videos
Thanks to MOOAD Minister spyder for letting us know where Rupert Murdoch is hoarding The Simpsons videos these days.

**The information on these links will change over time, of course. So for the historical record, as of this writing if The Season ended today, the playoffs would look like this:
In the AL: NY at Cleveland, and LA at Boston. In the NL: Chicago at Arizona, and San Diego at NY or Philly.

By Michael Bérubé

Well, I’ve been meaning for weeks to write something about Barry Bonds and steroids and sports, to follow up on Bill Benzon’s work. I remember Bill asking me whether Tiger Woods’ Lasik surgery should be considered a form of performance enhancement, and I replied that laser vision is useful mainly for putting and chipping, not for the rest of the game; when Bill asked how much of the game consists of putting and chipping, I said, “uh, most of it.” But right around then, Tiger went and lost the U.S. Open to Angel Cabrera, and he lost it on the greens while Cabrera boomed out these ungodly long drives. I believe Cabrera had the longest driving-distance average for the week, and long drivers never win the Open. (It requires more precision than long drivers usually possess.) So go figure. And then, of course, there’s the fact that Cabrera smoked cigarettes on the course throughout the tournament. Unheard of! Don’t tell me nicotine isn’t a performance enhancer. . . .

Anyway, within a few weeks, Lance Armstrong had publicly defended Floyd Landis, tossing in the claim that some hockey players are juiced; Gary Player showed up at the British Open and claimed that ten (unnamed) golfers are steroid users; and before I knew it, the issue of steroids in sports had gone way beyond my ability or my desire to deal with it. (Just for the record, though, I am typing this post without the aid of caffeine, my daily performance enhancer. I wanted to be “clean” just this once.) So here’s all I have to say about Barry Bonds today:

One of the most revolting things about this spectacle is that it allows a certain kind of white guy the opportunity to profess his undying, if retroactive, admiration for Hank Aaron, regardless of how said white guy actually felt about Hank Aaron 33 years ago. Now, I’m not saying that Aaron doesn’t deserve our undying admiration. He damn well does. But for all I know, some of the same people who were fuming about Aaron surpassing Ruth in 1974– hell, maybe some of the people who were threatening Aaron and his family– are now pretending to be outraged at Bonds on Aaron’s behalf. Feh. What a truly disgusting scene that was when Aaron was chasing the record; no one can blame Aaron for not wanting to relive those years. And how very stupid of Babe Ruth’s racist supporters, as well, since everyone knows the Babe was black.

And then we have the secondarily disgusting spectacle of the ghoulish Bud Selig, who, having colluded with other MLB owners in the great Free Agent Collusion Scandal of yesteryear, is now posing as a beacon of integrity and rectitude in fallen times. Feh and feh again, I say.

At least one thing remains clear, however: the record for career home runs by a white guy is still owned by Harmon Killebrew. I don’t recognize that drug-bloated McGwire fellow as a legitimate wearer of the crown.

By Bill Benzon

All’s not well in the world of cycling. The century-old Championship of Zurich was canceled in April for lack of sponsors. The Tour of Flanders saw a 77 percent drop in live attendance. The reason is obvious; doping scandals have all but ruined the credibility of the sport. Will baseball suffer the same fate? It’s anyone’s guess. It’s clear that there’s been a whole lot of juicin’ going on. Congress has held hearings, and drug testing was started two years ago, but no current big names have been caught. So it is still easy for fans to hide their heads in the same sand that’s been covering all those WMD’s in Iraq.

And then we have track and field and pro football, where testing programs have battered “plausible deniability” pretty badly.

But that’s not my game, bewailing the parlous moral state of athletic play. Not quite.

Why do so many of us find it so easy to think of juicing as cheating? It’s not as though chemical performance enhancement is confined to a small club that forbids it to others, thereby creating an unfair advantage for themselves. Any athlete can do it, and the pros have reasonable expectations that they’ll get good drugs and competent advice on how to use them. As far as I can tell, such judgments tend to be based on an intuitive sense of what is right and proper, what is natural. And juicing isn’t natural.

Consider a rather different example of unnatural sports preparation, vision enhancement through LASIK, laser surgery on the corneas. Back in 1999 Tiger Woods underwent LASIK surgery so that he had 20/15 vision, which is better than the 20/20 that is considered normal. Once Woods’ success validated the procedure many other golfers had it done as well. Athletes in other sports, such as baseball, have also had LASIK-enhanced vision. But no one has complained about this.

Why not?
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Update: Wednesday 6/6/07  - Will be on about 8 for some Stanley Cup Game 5 coverage - not looking so good for the Senators though

Join us in the comments for Liveblogging Cavs/Pistons Game 6 (seamlessly intertwined with Ducks/Senators Game 3) starting at 8:00 PM Saturday, June 2nd. (Update: game coverage starts at comment #9)
Sports fans, non sports fans, knitters, left-handers. malcontents, those that belong to the emperor, sockpuppets and and anyone else are welcome.
Seamlessly intertwined, I tell you … seamlessly.

I know that many think that he is a jerk per Open Thread (#9), but if you didn’t see LeBron score the last 25 points in a row for the Cavs in their victory Thursday night (including all of Cleveland’s points in both overtimes) to go up 3-2 in the series, well, then I guess you didn’t see it. I had Detroit in 6, so I’m happily wrong in my prognosticoratoring.

Next game: (i.e. next NE Ohio Post-Traumatic Sports Loss opportunity)
Cavs v Pistons: Game 6 Sat., June 2 at Cleveland, 8:30 p.m. ET, TNT

Which pretty well overlaps with another mega-important sports event:
Senators v Ducks Game 3 Sat., June 2 at Ottawa 8 p.m. ET, NBC, CBC, RDS
At least it is on fracking NBC and not the VS. Channel like the first two games. I know that many of you enjoyed that horse race thingie last Saturday (and yes, I watched the race itself and it was good), but, Michael Michael motorcycle!! What in the hell was NBC doing cutting away from an overtime game over an hour before the frigging Preakness even started? Like are ratings and ad revenue really that important? … not quite the Heidi game, but Jesus. (and I’m afraid that if this one goes to OT, they will cut to a rerun of Law and Order). Official waagnfnp team to cheer for is Ottawa - one of those “Hey! We only lost to the champs” kind of deals for the Pens.

Oh, and Northwestern is still alive in Women’s softball.
Game 5 Friday, Jun 1– Washington vs. Northwestern, 7 p.m. (ESPN2)

And as much as I’d love to go on at length about the LPGA, I will defer to the We Are All LPGA Bloggers Now stylings of TC.

Well, the Bulls choked game six away yesterday in horrible fashion, the same day the Cubs’ bullpen coughed up the lead for the third time on a seven-game road-trip. The Warriors are already out. Only JP likes LeBron. {Note from the MOJ - I haven’t been following LeBron closely enough to know if he’s been being a pill lately or not, so no official WAAGNFNP opinion on LeBron at this time.} And the A’s are just at .500. {Waaaaahhhh! - MOJ.} So, what to do? What to blog about this weekend?

Well, if Street Sense wins the Preakness this weekend, we will have live blogging for the Belmont (which will surely derail all Triple Crown hopes). But that’s a few weeks away, and only if Street Sense wins the Preakness.

For something to do, drinking comes to mind. Followed by the inevitable hangover. So let’s all share our most embarrassing stories about hangovers, and flashbacks, and come-downs on this blog. {Please enjoy the following highly amusing Family Guy bit where Brian and Stewie are in an Amsterdam cafe and get a “contact high”! -MOJ}

Maybe you’re under 21. Or you are a teetotaler (you think I fashioned this whole post only so I could use that word? Maybe.) Then you have another choice: talk about the NCAA Softball regionals. Not only is Northwestern really good (ahem), it’s also a very interesting sport. No-hitters galore! Eileen Canney had 28 strikeouts in an 18 inning complete game in 2006.)

Or, talk about anything that comes to mind, even the LPGA - it’s an open thread, after all. Anyway, I’m off for some field studies regarding the first topic. Giving my sanity to science, as it were.

[Update: Thanks to JP for his topic-inspiring comment here. I know drunk/high stories are a little heavy on the intellectual side for a weekend Open Thread, but hey, we gotta stop fooling around and get serious every now and then, right? -MOJ]

Well, the frenzied fun of the Kentucky Derby Live Blogging pretty much blew out Open Thread (#6), so here’s a fresh one because there’s just so much going on this weekend - NBA and NHL playoffs, TC tells us there is LPGA action this weekend, a boxing match that is supposed to save boxing, and of course Paris Hilton possibly maybe actually doing jail time saving the corporate media from having to possibly maybe actually perform their duty to keep us informed of things that really matter.

A tip of the MOJ’s gavel to WAAGNFNP newcomer Ya Ya who not only picked the Derby winner, but picked it with authority. Maybe Ya Ya will resurface later this weekend when she reemerges from her Oscar De La Hoya-induced swoon.

Me, I’m missing a killer concert because I’m stuck inside with a horrible cold. So I rented a couple of movies. One is a Czech film, and the other is this one:

Which, can you believe, I still have not seen and it came out in 2000?

Live Blogging the Kentucky Derby!
Sat. 5/5/07 beginning one half hour before start time: 5:30pm Eastern, 2:30pm Pacific. Start time for the race is (I belive) 6:04pm Eastern, on televised on NBC.

[Hey Folks, I’m still fighting a bad cold, so there will be more links than writing here. But that’s OK because I’m not a writer anyway!]
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Tomorrow will be the 133rd running of the Kentucky Derby. How many of you know these names: Oliver Lewis, Jimmy Winkfield, or Isaac Murphy?

Oliver Lewis was the winning rider in the very first Kentucky Derby in 1875. He was also Black. In fact, African American jockeys dominated the sport in this country until the dawn of the 20th century:

From Tony McClean:

African-American jockeys rode 14 of 15 horses in that first Kentucky Derby. The horse racing sport was built with the talents of Blacks whose jobs typically included trainer, jockey, and owner.

From the Library of Congress’ review of the definitive Edward Hotaling book, Great Black Jockeys:

Decades before baseball player Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier to become the “first” black to play with whites in modern professional sports, black and white jockeys were competing alongside one another on racetracks such as Saratoga.

What happened? Again, from Tony McClean (part II of his article):

To no surprise, some white jockeys resented the choice mounts and big money earned by successful Black riders. Races became combative including several riots between Black and White jockeys in Chicago.

Isaac Murphy